Sunday, February 13, 2011

losing control

For a lot of my life I've clung to control. Of my time. Of what I eat. Of making sure I get to exercise as much as I want to, when I want to. I hate going into academic tests with out feeling like I know all of the material. I want control. I want to feel completely prepared.

...But I know I need to let go. There is so much freedom, peace, and joy in giving God control. It feels amazing to give God everything!!! But it is always hard to do completely.

I don't want to live for what I want. I want to live for You, God. I want to do Your will God! Please help me lose my grip of anything in my life that I want control over. I want to give You control over me and my life, dear LORD.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
-Galatians 2:20

Mostly, I want to live by faith. Not fear. Not anxiety. But faith!!! God's got everything under control. God has amazing plans for me. His plans are always so much better than my own! I want to carry my cross, and living every second out of love for my Savior, Jesus. I want to bring glory to Him in whatever way would bring glory to Him most. Loving Him and others is so much more important than anything. I have no reason to keep worrying about time or getting things done.

"This is a giant leap of faith.
Trusting and trying to embrace.

The fear of the unknown.
Beyond my comfort zone.

Giving in to Your gravity.
Knowing You are holding me.
I’m not afraid.

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams.
I’m losing control
Of my destiny.
It feels like I’m falling, and that’s what it’s like to believe.
So I’m letting go."

-"I'm Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli

I love you LORD!
I want to give You complete control.
Even if it is scary. I want it to be my sacrifice to You.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship."
-Romans 12:1

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