Friday, February 11, 2011

by faith not fear

It is very difficult for me to be happy when others, especially those I am closest to are not.

I want so badly for everyone to be filled with joy from the Holy Spirit. I yearn for every person to be completely overwhelmed by God's love for them. Overwhelmed with joy over God's forgiveness. I long for people to embrace the new Life He gives us.

"At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, He saw Heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from Heaven: 'You are my Son, whom I love; with You I am well pleased.'"
-Mark 1:9-11

God loves us the same way He loves His Son. Jesus comes as God in human form to tell us and show us how much God loves us.

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."
-John 15:9

Even though we are completely sinful and undeserving, even though we deserve death and hell, God loves us the same way He loves His perfect and sinless Son, Jesus!!!

Jesus died for our sins so that when we accept Christ as our Savior by faith, we no longer have our sinful identities but our identity is Jesus. We are made perfect in God's sight because we now share in God's righteousness and glory. We are made one with Christ.

I pray that we can find joy in these and all of God's truths. That we can be filled with peace when we think about God's promises. He is in control, He will do everything for the good of those who love Him, we have Heaven to look forward to... The Bible is overflowing with His promises and truths that are so much better and greater than anything we could ever want.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8:28

It hurts God when we live in fear instead of in faith. He wants us to have faith in His love and promises. Faith that He is enough. More than enough. Faith that He is all we need.

Every day I too struggle to live by faith instead of fear. I struggle A LOT. There are always many points of the day where anxiety attacks me. Fear and lies try to consume me. In my flesh, I am completely selfish and sinful. We all are. I hate my flesh. I hate all anxiety, fear, selfishness, and sin. I hate it because I know God hates it.

When ever I am filled with anxiety and fear, which is quite often, I just want to be alone with God and give all my thoughts to Him. Surrender all my wants and desires to Him and give Him control of my life again. I give Him my fears so that I can live by faith and be filled with peace from the Spirit again.

Besides letting my own anxieties attack and consume me, when others aren't filled with the child-like faith that allows the Holy Spirit to fill them with the fruits of the Spirit and with love, my heart breaks for them. I suffer for them. I want them to be filled with the Spirit. I allow myself to feel the hopelessness, despair, anxiety, and fear that others express to me, and it makes me depressed and sad. I want everyone to be overflowing with the fruits of the Spirit and love way more than I ever am or will be. I would gladly give up my own life to fill others with the child-like faith in God that will fill them with the things of the Holy Spirit. I want it so badly for everyone. But I know my suffering is not going to change anyone. I am not God. Only God can change people's hearts.

I know I must rest in the knowledge that God will work in His perfect timing. I want to always be patient with myself, others, and most importantly God. I want to be filled with faith. Faith and hope that God will change our hearts in His perfect timing.

I am a horrible sinner. I am quick to be filled with anxiety and fear. I need God to take away me, my flesh, and my fears. I need God to replace me with Him. To fill me with love, kindness, compassion, gentleness, forgiveness, understanding, hopefulness, and faith.

God keeps telling me to hold on to the child-like faith He fills me with. To hang on to the child-like faith and joy over Jesus. I always want to get angry at myself for it. I feel bad for being joy and peace filled when others aren't. But whenever I continually beat myself up for being filled with joy, I always relearn that it is from the Holy Spirit, not me. By myself and my flesh I am anxious, depressed, sinful, weak, and selfish.

The only thing good in any of us is Jesus. Only by surrendering our fears, desires, and entire lives to Him can we be filled with the Holy Spirit. Being filled with the things of the Holy Spirit results from faith. We need to work at it every day. Fight the lies. Fight the fears. Fight the world. Fight our desires. Fight Satan. God gives us His strength to use in our spiritual battles!! He gives us the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. We need to fight back with God's promises. We are entirely weak apart from God. He is our only strength and joy.

I just keep realizing again and again that I need to surrender my fears and other people's struggles to God. I need to live by faith in God and not by fear. I can't beat myself up for joy, because it isn't even from me. It is from the Spirit. The child-like faith and joy in Jesus are all the strength I have. With out letting God fill me with the things of the Spirit, I am anxious and depressed. I need to rest in God's love and promises. Let God carry me through. And trust that God will work in all of our hearts in His perfect timing.

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