Tuesday, March 20, 2012

what does it mean for me, for you, to love Him?






I think "love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength" means something different for each of us since all of us are so different from one another, with such unique hearts and minds.  I think it's interesting to ponder that.

To ponder what loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength might mean for you considering who you are, and who God made you.

Also so amazing and interesting to ponder different things it might mean for those around us. All so different, formed by God.
Different parts of the body of Christ.

Of course no one truly know what it means for anyone else, and maybe not even fully for themselves. I think is something each of us can ask God to help reveal.
"What does that mean for me, God, to love You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength?"

I find it amazing that God created each of us so different. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He, and only He knows each of our unique hearts.

He and only He deserves to be the Judge of all of us.
And that is a very scary but also beautiful thing.




So thankful for the cross.
His everlasting, neverending, boundless love and grace for each and every one of us. Despite our sinfulness, weakness, confusion, and despite all the things we make life about instead of Him, despite how mixed up and far from the Truth we are, He wants us. He wants to cover it all, already DID cover it all with the cross. All of this just makes me want to bow to Him. And I wish I could stay bowed forever. I don't really know anything or what I'm talking about or what's good or right. The only thing I know and believe is the Truth, the Word of God. And so that is what I will keep going back to. And how I will find hope to keep pressing on in life. Even though I am just confused and don't know much, He still covers me in love and grace. The cross is the forever proof of that. Thank the Lord!!!

And now I am going to ask Him to keep leading, to show me, show me in all the confusion, how to love Him more. What it all means for me.

I feel like even as I say this, God is telling me, ha maybe the Holy Spirit or something? I don't know I am just filled with this huge sense, like "Abby, don't be silly. You already know this, the most important thing for you is to just rest, rest in Me, in the cross, in My grace. And trust Me." I feel like what I've been personally learning lately is to give my all to Him by loving Him with all I do, but even more importantly, WAY more importantly than all of that, just to constantly rest in Him and know, it's not about me or what I do but about Him. And what He did. I'm going to constantly mess up, be confused, not understand, let others down, do things I'm tempted to regret, etc. But through it all I have to remember, I'm forgiven. And just thank Him for that. And trust Him to help me, lead me, and cover everything in grace.  It's hard, but He's showing me. Helping me to live for Him with all I do and also to do what's hardest: just rest in Him, know I am forgiven. And trust Him. It's hard, but beautiful, and amazing. How can I not thank Him for this crazy love?

I feel this is the only way to show others His love and grace too. To rest in His grace myself first.


That's just a little of what is constantly on my heart as I question what it means to love Him. What to do... what to do with my time... 





And here are some related Truths that I think about as I question what it means for us to love Him...

"Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give..."
-2 Corinthians 9:7


But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7



 I'm really curious to hear from you. I would love to hear any answers to any of these questions: What do you think it means to love Him? Do you think it's different or the same for every person? What Truths do you turn to about this? What has God taught you about this? What ways do you feel called to love and serve Him? What are your other thoughts about all this?




...
Last night I read something amazing. Well, I read many amazing things because I just kept reading the Word and didn't want to go to bed. But I found this in John Chap 4, the story of "The Woman At The Well." It's so crazy how every time I read the Word, it's new, no matter how much read before, I forget, or my eyes are opened to new things. This will happen forever. 



JOHN 4 THE WOMAN AT THE WELL

1 Jesus realized that the Pharisees were keeping count of the baptisms that he and John performed 2 (although his disciples, not Jesus, did the actual baptizing). They had posted the score that Jesus was ahead, turning him and John into rivals in the eyes of the people. 3 So Jesus left the Judean countryside and went back to Galilee.
4 To get there, he had to pass through Samaria. 5 He came into Sychar, a Samaritan village that bordered the field Jacob had given his son Joseph. 6 Jacob's well was still there. Jesus, worn out by the trip, sat down at the well. It was noon.
7 A woman, a Samaritan, came to draw water. Jesus said, "Would you give me a drink of water?" 8 (His disciples had gone to the village to buy food for lunch.)
9 The Samaritan woman, taken aback, asked, "How come you, a Jew, are asking me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?" (Jews in those days wouldn't be caught dead talking to Samaritans.)
10 Jesus answered, "If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water."
11 The woman said, "Sir, you don't even have a bucket to draw with, and this well is deep. So how are you going to get this 'living water'? 12 Are you a better man than our ancestor Jacob, who dug this well and drank from it, he and his sons and livestock, and passed it down to us?"
13 Jesus said, "Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. 14 Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst - not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."
15 The woman said, "Sir, give me this water so I won't ever get thirsty, won't ever have to come back to this well again!"
16 He said, "Go call your husband and then come back." 17 "I have no husband," she said.
18 You've had five husbands, and the man you're living with now isn't even your husband. You spoke the truth there, sure enough."
19 "Oh, so you're a prophet! 20 Well, tell me this: Our ancestors worshiped God at this mountain, but you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place for worship, right?"
21 "Believe me, woman, the time is coming when you Samaritans will worship the Father neither here at this mountain nor there in Jerusalem. 22 You worship guessing in the dark; we Jews worship in the clear light of day. God's way of salvation is made available through the Jews. 23 But the time is coming - it has, in fact, come - when what you're called will not matter and where you go to worship will not matter.

It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. 24 God is sheer being itself - Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."
25 The woman said, "I don't know about that. I do know that the Messiah is coming. When he arrives, we'll get the whole story."
26 "I am he," said Jesus. "You don't have to wait any longer or look any further." 27 Just then his disciples came back. They were shocked. They couldn't believe he was talking with that kind of a woman. No one said what they were all thinking, but their faces showed it.
28 The woman took the hint and left. In her confusion she left her water pot. Back in the village she told the people, 29 "Come see a man who knew all about the things I did, who knows me inside and out. Do you think this could be the Messiah?" 30 And they went out to see for themselves.





This passage just wows me, a lot. And every day I am just filled with thankfulness that I am blessed in this life to get to do what I love most: just love my family and friends and give my all to loving them and also to loving people at my job and to doing my school work so that I can help and love people in the future. It is so fun to just do everything I do for the Lord. And... reading the Word reminds me that He sees that. He knows when I'm doing stuff for Him and when I'm doing stuff for me. It's just always amazing to me that He loves me the way I am. That He is always leading. When I go astray or start heading in a direction that He doesn't want, when I make mistakes or no matter what happens, He always leads me back to His better plans. It is crazy and amazing. So, what all of this calls me to do is just let go.

Do all I do for Him. Love Him with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. And love others as myself. And do it in the unique way He made me to. To be me, because only then will I be the part He wants me to be in the Body of Christ. I'm thankful He made me the way I am and feel so blessed to do all the things I love most every day: just love Him and others and give my all. That's always been super important to me every day of my life: to give my all. Thankful He carries and gives me strength. I couldn't even give a single thing or breathe without Him. He is my only strength, my only Hope, my Savior, and even though I don't deserve any of it, He carries me. He leads me on.


Thank the Lord for that.<3



Friday, March 16, 2012

right here.

Each day is hard. Each day is painful in its own special ways.

But at the end of the day, when I look at it all, after all the complaints about schoolwork or not feeling well, after all the times of being anxious about all I want to get done, after all the times of wishing so bad I just had more time to love people...

at the end of the day, I'm amazed.

There is nowhere I'd rather be. No place I'd rather be in life. God has led me through everything perfectly right up to this very second.

Every bit of pain, every struggle has been beautiful, leading me back to humbling my stubborn, sinful self before Him.


And, wow, golly-gee, to infinity-and-beyond!!!, am I blessed to be where I am at MSUM. In a place where I spend so much of my time loving my family and friends every single day. It is my greatest joy to do this. To be here. With so much time in the world it's not even funny to just love people. I've never been this blessed as I am in my life.


And this is something I should and can thank God for every second. He always knows, always works, always holds.

Thankful He leads me to the right place always.
Even though I am the most stubborn person on the planet, always trying to go my own way.
God still somehow breaks me and leads me.

How weird?...
How Amazing.


Thanks be to Him.

Monday, March 12, 2012

another unexpected find as listen to my old CDs

                    











I really like this. To me it describes and brings to life through song a daily fight in my heart and mind well. <3

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

my only hope.

Man, there are multiple times throughout each day where I am anxious, restless, filled with stupid thoughts that I can't shut off.




Just a restless, anxious heart.



It's at those times when I can't even do anything else, I'm too filled with anxiety, in too much pain, too low to really do anything, anything but open the Word
praying for it to be whatever God wants me to hear or turn on music praying the same thing.
 It's at those times that I am just hungry for it, I need it...




And the sound of His voice, the Word, the Truth is better than anything else in the world.
The only thing that calms this restless heart.




His grace and His help are my only hope.

I need to surrender. 
Let His mercy and grace cover everything.
And just trust Him.















The Truth is better than anything...
He loves us.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Driving home from work this song made me cry as I belted it. I want to live like that.