Wednesday, February 29, 2012

What is most important to you?

What is most important to you each day??
What do you want each day to be?

What to you are the most important things you want to include in each day?

These are things I think about a lot.
I am often not good, and it is often a struggle for us in this life, to actually put what we want to first.

For me: I just want to love. 
God and my family first. And my dear friends. Then everyone, my neighbor.

And to live each day as my last.

Pray for me to do these things more and more.
Cuz, honestly, nothing is a greater joy to me than doing these things out of love and thankfulness to God and love and thankfulness to my family and friends.
Just pray I actually do put my priorities first through my actions.

... But this post was more because I am curious to know YOUR answers. If you feel like responding, give them as detailed or undetailed as you want. :)

I am curious: 
What is most important to you?
What do you want each day to be?
What is on your heart?

Thursday, February 23, 2012

haha, this song...

this song makes me chuckle, cuz it definitely talks of something close to my heart and at the heart of some of my thoughts or struggles each day.

I just want to love and please God and others but never know how.


What do you think about what the song says??
would really appreciate others' thoughts and wisdom.

need to face the facts.

I will always be an Amazing sinner.
Nothing more, nothing less.

That's why I need an Amazing Savior.

My falling short, my screwing up and sinning to a degree that scares myself that I could even sink that low, it opens my eyes, shows me,

shows me His grace and love for me is more Amazing than a song or any words could ever describe.

Help me throw down my mirror.

I want to throw all my mirrors down until all I see is the Cross.

the Amazing Savior.
Amazing Grace.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

what is Ash Wednesday?

"For Christians ashes are a symbol of being sorry for the things they've done wrong that they want to get rid of forever. Ashes are a reminder that we all come from ashes, and to ashes we all will return. Using ashes to mark the cross on the forehead symbolizes that through Christ's death and resurrection, all believers can be free from sin. Ashes are a reminder that God is gracious and merciful to those who call on Him with repentant hearts."

Questions for YOU:

What are your thoughts about lent and/or Ash Wednesday?

What do you like or dislike about lent? Do you see it important to practice??

Do you have any Easter traditions?

What do you like about Easter?


Friday, February 17, 2012

Food for thought

If proverbs are food for the soul, than I am starving.

... And I believe they are. :)

Here are a few that caught my eye as I read proverbs before bed.

They are ones I am particularly bad at putting into practice and want to reflect on often, more and more. Of course it's the practicing and not preaching that matters. And, boy, I could use prayer each day for all of these and to do all of what God wants, to just simply love Him and others first.

... I think all of these are beautiful. Reading the Word is truly my favorite part of the day, an incredible blessing to read about His love and heart. And to read how I can love and thank Him and others more.

God is good. ... A God of compassion, grace, and peace.

"Watch your words and hold your tongue;
you'll save yourself a lot of grief."
*Proverbs 21:23

"Sinners are always wanting what they don't have;
the God-loyal are always giving what they do have."
*Proverbs 21:26

"If you fall to pieces in a crisis,
there wasn't much to you in the first place."
*Proverbs 24:10

"You're addicted to thrills? What an empty life!

The pursuit of pleasure is never satisfied."
*Proverbs 21:17

"If you stop your ears to the cries of the poor,
your cries will go unheard, unanswered."
*Proverbs 21:13

"Whoever goes hunting for what is right and kind finds life itself---
glorious life!"
*Proverbs 21:21

"Dear child, I want your full attention;
please do what I show you."
*Proverbs 23:26

"Simpletons only learn the hard way,
but the wise learn by listening."
*Proverbs 21:11

"Mixed motives twist life into tangles;

pure motives take you straight down the road."
*Proverbs 21:8

"Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run;

hurry scurry puts you further behind."
*Proverbs 21:5

"Do not eat the food of a stingy man,
do not crave his delicacies;
for he is the kind of man
who is always thinking about the cost.
'Eat and drink,' he says to you,
but his heart is not with you.
You will vomit up the little you have eaten
and will have wasted your compliments."
-Proverbs 23:6-8
(I can be very very stingy, so this caught my eye )

"The wicked get buried alive by their loot

because they refuse to use it to help others."
*Proverbs 21:7

"Clean living before God and justice with our neighbors

mean far more to GOD than religious performance."
*Proverbs 21:3

"Dear child, if you become wise,
I'll be one happy Parent.
My heart will dance and sing
to the tunefull truth you'll speak."
*Proverbs 23:15-16

"We justify our actions by appearances;

GOD examines our motives."
*Proverbs 21:2

"Humility and the fear of the LORD
bring wealth and honor and life."
-Proverbs 22:4

"Do your best, prepare for the worst---
then trust GOD to bring victory."
*Proverbs 21:31

*I was reading from "The Message" Bible just for fun, so most of these came out of that translation. I've also been comparing them to the NIV and other versions as I read. It's fun and interesting.
-I also put a few from the NIV Bible translation.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

being real again.

Honestly, something I've realized about myself is I can't not be real no matter how much I try. God only knows the truth of this. I apologize for it, but I also know and believe He truly works through it. Somehow, His power really is made perfect in weakness.


What I woke up filled with thinking this Valentine's day:

From the highest mountain top to the bottom of the ocean floor, I would not change a thing about any of what I've gone through in my life. The past school year, or whatever time frame I'd want to look at, each year, each season, has been really hard. Filled with scary times of depression and anxiety. Times of being scared for my life. Times of unbearable guilt, shame, and hatred for myself. Times filled with paralyzing anxiety of fearing what people think or of feeling like a horrible failure to them.

anxiety every day about what to do with my time.

oh man...

I am so thankful for all of this.

Fighting the horrible guilt and shame again and again each day with the Truth, with His love and grace for me, a long with fighting to know I believe Jesus Christ and the cross are my only Hope, has helped me more than anything in the world. The warfare has really strengthened my faith and hope in Christ.

I've grown way way more than ever before in the ability to do whats hardest for me: accept His grace and love for me. Forgive myself. Trust that He's in control. That He made me the way I am for a reason. Trust that He loves me just the way I am, which is the hardest thing for me to believe.

Everything I've gone through has helped me grow in confidence and excitement to love, encourage, and just love my family and girlfriends in the way God created me to until I die.

It has made me determined to fight through every bit of guilt and shame and hatred toward myself and let His grace be where I find rest and hope. Because it's only then that I am filled with His joy and filled with excitement to show others His love and grace. Show them He loves them just the way they are.

This Valentine's day I am excited to remind others me and Jesus love them just the way they are.

Monday, February 13, 2012

a tiny piece of His love letter

Jeremiah 31 will always be one of my favorite chapters of the Bible. I see it as God speaking to and referring to every single one of us when He talks about Israel, His people. I am the unfaithful Daughter that He for some reason loves the way He does. Could never ever deserve a speck of this.

This is the best love love letter I've ever seen... Well a tiny piece of the best love letter I've ever seen: the entire Bible.

Jeremiah 31

1 “At that time,” declares the LORD, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people.”
2 This is what the LORD says:
“The people who survive the sword
will find favor in the wilderness;
I will come to give rest to Israel.”
3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
4 I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels
and go out to dance with the joyful.
5 Again you will plant vineyards
on the hills of Samaria;
the farmers will plant them
and enjoy their fruit.
6 There will be a day when watchmen cry out
on the hills of Ephraim,
‘Come, let us go up to Zion,
to the LORD our God.’”
7 This is what the LORD says:
“Sing with joy for Jacob;
shout for the foremost of the nations.
Make your praises heard, and say,
‘LORD, save your people,
the remnant of Israel.’
8 See, I will bring them from the land of the north
and gather them from the ends of the earth.
Among them will be the blind and the lame,
expectant mothers and women in labor;
a great throng will return.
9 They will come with weeping;
they will pray as I bring them back.
I will lead them beside streams of water
on a level path where they will not stumble,

because I am Israel’s father,
and Ephraim is my firstborn son.
10 “Hear the word of the LORD, you nations;
proclaim it in distant coastlands:
‘He who scattered Israel will gather them
and will watch over his flock like a shepherd.’
11 For the LORD will deliver Jacob
and redeem them from the hand of those stronger than they.
12 They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion;
they will rejoice in the bounty of the LORD—
the grain, the new wine and the olive oil,
the young of the flocks and herds.
They will be like a well-watered garden,
and they will sorrow no more.
13 Then young women will dance and be glad,
young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

14 I will satisfy the priests with abundance,
and my people will be filled with my bounty,”
declares the LORD.
15 This is what the LORD says:
“A voice is heard in Ramah,
mourning and great weeping,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more.”
16 This is what the LORD says:
“Restrain your voice from weeping
and your eyes from tears,
for your work will be rewarded,”
declares the LORD.
“They will return from the land of the enemy.
17 So there is hope for your descendants,”
declares the LORD.
“Your children will return to their own land.
18 “I have surely heard Ephraim’s moaning:
‘You disciplined me like an unruly calf,
and I have been disciplined.
Restore me, and I will return,
because you are the LORD my God.
19 After I strayed,
I repented;
after I came to understand,
I beat my breast.
I was ashamed and humiliated
because I bore the disgrace of my youth.’
Is not {insert your name here**] my dear child,
the child in whom I delight?
Though I often speak against you,
I still remember you.
Therefore my heart yearns for you;
I have great compassion for you, my child,”
declares the LORD.
21 “Set up road signs;
put up guideposts.
Take note of the highway,
the road that you take.
Return, Virgin Israel,
return to your towns.
22 How long will you wander,
unfaithful Daughter Israel?
The LORD will create a new thing on earth—
the woman will return to the man.”
23 This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “When I bring them back from captivity, the people in the land of Judah and in its towns will once again use these words: ‘The LORD bless you, you prosperous city, you sacred mountain.’ 24 People will live together in Judah and all its towns—farmers and those who move about with their flocks. 25 I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
26 At this I awoke and looked around. My sleep had been pleasant to me.
27 “The days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when I will plant the kingdoms of Israel and Judah with the offspring of people and of animals. 28 Just as I watched over them to uproot and tear down, and to overthrow, destroy and bring disaster, so I will watch over them to build and to plant,” declares the LORD. 29 “In those days people will no longer say,
‘The parents have eaten sour grapes,
and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’
30 Instead, everyone will die for their own sin; whoever eats sour grapes—their own teeth will be set on edge.
31 “The days are coming,” declares the LORD,
“when I will make a new covenant
with the people of Israel
and with the people of Judah.
32 It will not be like the covenant
I made with their ancestors
when I took them by the hand
to lead them out of Egypt,
because they broke my covenant,
though I was a husband to them,”
declares the LORD.
33 “This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel
after that time,” declares the LORD.
“I will put my law in their minds
and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
34 No longer will they teach their neighbor,
or say to one another, ‘Know the LORD,’
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest,”
declares the LORD.
“For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.
35 This is what the LORD says,
he who appoints the sun
to shine by day,
who decrees the moon and stars
to shine by night,
who stirs up the sea
so that its waves roar—
the LORD Almighty is his name:
36 “Only if these decrees vanish from my sight,”
declares the LORD,
“will Israel ever cease
being a nation before me.”
37 This is what the LORD says:
Only if the heavens above can be measured
and the foundations of the earth below be searched out
will I reject all the descendants of Israel
because of all they have done,”
declares the LORD.
38 “The days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when this city will be rebuilt for me from the Tower of Hananel to the Corner Gate. 39 The measuring line will stretch from there straight to the hill of Gareb and then turn to Goah. 40 The whole valley where dead bodies and ashes are thrown, and all the terraces out to the Kidron Valley on the east as far as the corner of the Horse Gate, will be holy to the LORD. The city will never again be uprooted or demolished.”
-Jeremiah 31:1-40

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. 18 Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son."
-John 3:16-18

"If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
-Romans 10: 9-13

"But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast."
-Ephesians 2:4-9

 "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
        -Romans 8:38-39

new blog.

I am in the process of making another blog in order to start sharing little random things with family, aunts, grandparents, friends, etc...

Some of you guys may like it too. :)

I'm still gonna keep this one.
Some stuff will be on both. Often I will just post in one or the other.

Feel free to check it out or follow if you want...

Monday, February 6, 2012

being real.

These times are so weird and all over the place for me. Not sleeping for more than an hour or two hours Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, and Tues nights (and none during the day) of last week, along with already being sick and scared for my health, was really hard. I didn't know why I had insomnia, never really do.

I was very scared for my life, as I have been so often this year. I was frustrated that I couldn't sleep. I've just been all over the place every day. Which is not that new, but this all really heightened it a lot. I have been very attacked and filled with anxiety and depression, fear, lies from Satan, selfishness and sinfulness, and anger and hatred toward myself.

I'm now at the point where over and over I am filled with anger at myself. Feeling horrible and sorry that I put those I love through all of this.

... But, I know God knows exactly what He's doing. He's working purposefully through all of this.

Looking back at Tues night and Wed during the day, the times of just laying there listening to music about God's love for me are so so precious to me. A precious time for me and Jesus. Honestly, nothing could've been better than that.
I was so filled with peace, just lying there listening to songs of His love for me. After all the horribleness, I finally found the one thing that gives me peace and rest: His grace.


And He truly is bringing family and friends together, always.
He works perfectly. Especially in weaknesses.

Satan always always tries to fill me with anger towards myself, but I need to keep fighting it. Forgive myself as God forgives me and keep fighting to find rest and peace in God's Truths.

I'm thankful for everything. The anxiety, the depression, the weirdness, the being sick and weak... all of it leads me to Him. Leads me to His arms.

Leads me to songs and truths like these....

Thank You God.

Thank You for the friends and family I have. For how understanding, forgiving, and loving they are. For the beautiful beautiful ways they have taken care of me when I am at my worst or sick or struggling. For the way they show me the love of Christ.

Thank You most of all for Jesus.

Though my health and everything is still not too good and is still scary every day, I trust You. And I thank You!!!

I AM BLESSED. In every single way.

Especially with Jesus. His forgiveness. His love. SALVATION. And the promise of Heaven.

Though I struggle to allow myself to, thank You for always reteaching me again and again: You just want me to rest in You.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


(something I want to get better at)

Always treat, judge, and look at others as if they are doing the best they can. Chances are, they are trying to.