When everything is just too much...

My anxiety has been very very very scarily high lately.
Today was horribly hard and painful for a million reasons.
Every day has been lately.
So much anxiety and fear I am completely paralyzed often.
And sometimes I am a monster of anxiety.
It is really scary.
But... I know God forgives me through all of this.
He is holding me and carrying me. Through EVERYTHING.
And this doesn't even compare to what I've gone through in the past.

Though every day is very very scary and hard, God will hold me and help me get through this dark and scary time. He loves me so much it hurts, and even more than that.



Even though I am a completely sinful anxious mess, He forgives me, loves me, and is holding me.



Oh, how He loves me!!!


...



I just heard this song and broke down hard.

It's a message from God to us.


... I then sung it with my mom and broke down really really hard in the middle to the point where I couldn't sing. She kept singing. :) ... So precious.

God is holding all of us.
Even though we don't deserve it, we are held forever in His arms of grace.




He wants us to remember that.
He wants to be the One we reach for first.

"Fall Into Me"

When the weight of the world bears
down so strong
you leave footprints on the street.

And there’s too many miles to face
without a few more hours sleep.

The storm clouds overhead won’t shed
Any rain to quench your thirst.


I wanna be the One you reach for first.


When your faith is stretched so thin
that you can see straight through your soul.

And you can’t find a nickel to buy a smile
‘Cause your pockets all got holes.

You wanna shut the door and hide
before the day can get much worse.


I wanna be the One you reach for first.


Fall into Me.
My arms are open wide.
And you don’t have to say a word.

‘Cause I already see
that it’s hard and you’re scared
and you’re tired and it hurts


And I wanna be the One you reach for first.


I wanna be the bottle
Yyou’ve been drinking with your eyes.

Or the road you run away on.
You’ve been running all your life.

The third row pew
that you last knew as a child in church.


I wanna be the One you reach for first.



Before you turn the key
before you fall asleep
before you drift away to fight those
demons waiting for you in your dreams.

Before your arms are stretched wide open.
Before you reach into the sky.

Before you’re searching for direction
and all the answers to your why’s.


Fall into Me.


Oh, My arms are stretched wide open.
You don’t have to say a word.

Because I already see.
that it’s hard and you’re scared
and you’re tired and I know it hurts.

Yes, it’s hard and you’re scared
and you’re tired and it hurts.


And I wanna be the One you reach for first."

... This really makes me cry right now. Thank God that He forgives me even in the times when I, out of anxiety, sin. I out of fear anxiety, and sinfulness reach for something else first.

I am thankful He still forgives me, and even then, holds me in His grace.
Wow.

God, please help me to make You the One I reach for first.
You deserve it.

I will never deserve any of Your amazing love and grace.
Thank You.