Saturday, January 1, 2011

live for today

It is hard for me to truly have sympathy for people who say they are bored.

I constantly wish I could stop time. Stop everything. Be alone. and...

Really deeply study the Bible.

I want to understand. I want to know the stories. I want to get the big picture. I want to be able to quote scripture. To know what I'm talking about. I want to question every verse and research like mad. I have a never ending hunger for reading God's word. Knowing it. Talking about it. Living it. The hunger eats away at me. I am glad it is there. I am blessed that the hunger has been there for many years. It always makes me wish I had way more time in a day.

Read a ton of Christian books.
I want to to know how to live like Jesus. I want to understand what that means
in every aspect of life. As a daughter, as a student, as a girl friend, wife, mother, sister of Christ, counselor, preacher, disciple, etc. I want to understand what God wants. I want to know how to help people in every area of their life and struggle. I know the Bible holds the answers, but I also constantly hunger to read what other Christians are writing.

Deeply study and write about my life.
I've always had the desire to document what I've been through and all the thoughts rushing through my packed brain. I have tons of journals and notebooks to go through. My room is a mess of old stuff. It would take a good year or more to go through everything, think about it, and write about it the way I want to. Every day I just want to write more and more, but I have to slow down and refocus on what needs to get done instead. Bah...!

Finish all the unfinished projects.

CLEAN. Organize. Edit photos. Go through clothes and boxes. Finish the millions of unfinished books and stories. Make stuff for people!!! Oh the countless ideas I have for gifts and things I would like to do and make for others.

I want to just press pause.
Fill this constant hunger for learning more about God.
And then come back to where I'm at.
Come back to doing what I want to do most: love and serve God.
Showing Christ to others.
Come back to being a student.
Come back to everything else.

But instead of pausing to do want I want before returning to real life, I have to
slow down. Take it a day at a time. Do what God wants me to do today, right now, this instant. Above all, be at peace with just doing what matters: loving God and others.

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:27, Matthew 6:34

"You told me not to worry about what lies ahead, so I am gonna focus on today instead. Making every moment count and counting every single blessing. I'm gonna set my mind on the here and the now.This is what I want my life to be about...

I'm gonna live for today.
I'm gonna follow in Your way.
I'm gonna let my little light shine
like there's no tomorrow.
I won't worry about the past.
I know my future is intact.
So I'll choose to live my life one way:
I'm gonna live it for today

-Live For Today by Natalie Grant

I love putting each day and each moment in God's hands. That brings me so much peace.

Dear God,
Please help my mind not to become anxious about getting things done.

My anxiety is purely selfish.

None of that stuff matters at all.

Only loving You with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength
and showing others Your love matters.

Help me to want to do Your will.

Not mine, but Yours God.
You will help me do what You want me to.
I don't need to put pressure on myself at all.
Your love is AMAZING God.
I want to give every minute of every day to loving You, Lord.

Help me to live for today, God.
Help me not worry about any of my selfish desires.
Help me show You to others the way You desire.
I want to do everything in Your time, dear Lord.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-30

Thanks for Your help God.
I love You LORD!!!

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