Sunday, September 23, 2012

what am I feeling? ...

Life is different. Interesting. As always, an adventure. Unexpected. Deep. and beautiful.

Sometimes it is sad and hard when you no longer have someone you really love in your life. It hits me a little bit each day and sometimes hits harder.

I don't even know what all I feel, but God does.

What I do know is that I just give it all to Him.

I thank Him for everything I had. The beauty of it all still takes my breath away.
But more than that, I smile and thank Him for what I've always had and still have even more and more and more with Him...



all I can do really is just give Him the sad or painful things right as I feel em and move on.

Move on with thankfulness. With love.
with letting go.

and just give my heart away.
to the girls I'm with.
the kids I'm with.
the family I'm with. :)

Most of all,  I am blessed to just give it to Jesus.

to focus on all the many many things I feel called to do right now and all the many many things I want to do for Him. There are so many things I want to do for Him every day. I can barely fit a few in... but I am blessed to get to do and fit all that does fit in a day!!! So blessed by everything I get to do with and for those I love. ... yes, sometimes I wish I could have both. Everything I have now plus a bit of what I'm missing. ... but, I am happy to let go. 

Thankful to just lay it all at Jesus' feet.

trust that this is best for all of us.

Know that God has us perfectly in His hands.
know that I can give Him and trust Him with everyone in prayer.

.... and man, oh man, oh man, am I thankful for everything He is doing in my heart and life.

man oh, man oh, man.

He is romancing me.

He is overwhelming me.

He is making me smile.

And He is my love.

I miss those I have to let go.

But boy do I love all that I get to do with Him.

And I dance.
I dance cuz He wants us too.
I dance cuz He calls me too.
I dance cuz He opens the door.
I dance cuz in it all my pain and sadness go.
All my joy and amazement and wow, just all the energy, goodness, and awe...
there is no better way to proclaim it. to let it out.

to let it be how I feel.

how I feel is to dance for Him.
to the songs and feelings in my heart.

and the crazy thing is,
He makes sure I get to do that, even for just a few minutes, almost every day.
and He fills me with the dream.
the dream of maybe teaching little girls to dance.
a dream He has re-placed and re-opened in my heart.

I don't care if it actually happens or not,
I hope it does
... but, more than that I am amazed, blessed, and thankful for the times with Him right now.
For all He is doing and I am doing for Him each day.

Jesus has got me.
I am His, and He has plans for me.
He is leading.
And I should just trust Him.

Thankful from the bottom of my heart for the hope and joy I have because of Him.

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