I desperately want control.
I want to plan.
I have trouble trusting.
Trusting that He will lead me.
Trusting that He will and already has placed people there.
I want to do MORE.
More for Him.
Love others more.
So I sit still and plan...
How stupid is this??!!!
He wants me to let go.
Though it is harder than anything.
Though the anxiety fills me,
He wants release.
A day at a time.
He will work.
He will love.
Once I let His Peace in.
Once I cast all of this stupid anxiety on Him,
I will be free.
But instead I cling to my desire.
Desire for control.
I am scared.
Scared to step out.
Scared to not get all that I want accomplished.
Scared to leave my comfort zone.
Scared of wasting time.
Scared of the unknown.
Leaving this place.
Leaving my fear behind.
Leaving my lists unfinished.
Putting my foot down.
Saying "No" to anxiety.
HIS WILL BE DONE.
I'm choosing that plea instead of my fear.
It's time to embrace.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
"Listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you don't even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You're a mist that appears for a little while and vanishes. Instead, you should say, 'If it's the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil."
"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring."
His way is so much better than mine.
And because of His rescue I will rejoice!
"They swarmed around me like bees,
but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them down.
I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.
The LORD is my strength and my defense;
he has become my salvation.
Shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents of the righteous:
'The LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!
The LORD’s right hand is lifted high;
the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!'
I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
The LORD has chastened me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.
Open for me the gates of the righteous;
I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.
This is the gate of the LORD
through which the righteous may enter.
I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.
The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone;
the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
The LORD has done it this very day;
let us rejoice today and be glad.
LORD, save us!
LORD, grant us success!
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
From the house of the LORD we bless you.
The LORD is God,
and he has made his light shine on us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar.
You are my God, and I will praise you;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.