Friday, May 27, 2011

all praises to You. :D

This past school year was very challenging. I grew and matured in Christ a lot, which makes me incredibly thankful for absolutely everything that happened.

It was most challenging to me because a lot of my friends were going through trials. Stuck in sins, anxiety, depression, etc. When other people are suffering, I often love them so much that I suffer a lot as well.

That was hard.

Also, God filled me with sorrow for the lost. For those who don't know Him. For all who are not filled with the joy and peace that come from knowing Him. This would sometimes make me cry, and I would sometimes feel depression like feelings. But I am very thankful for it, especially the times I struggled with anxiety or little bits of depressed feelings. All of the storms brought me to Jesus.

To trust in Him more deeply. To trust Him to work in other people's lives. Sometimes all I can do is plant seeds and pray. He is the only One who can change people's hearts. I need to have faith that He is working in His perfect timing.

Everything I and others went through really led me to prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

... And God really answered a lot of them!! I can see lots of results from the prayers I prayed in faith, and I know He is doing much more than I can't see.

Since March I have really chosen faith instead of fear. Especially about God working in other people's lives. I am also learning to not believe all the lies Satan fills me with. I am learning to forgive myself. To love myself. The way Christ does.

Because of all the answered prayers and because I am truly beginning to forgive and love myself, I have been less anxious than ever before. There has always been a deep peace, joy, and hope inside me that is indescribable, and it just keeps growing. It makes me smile no matter what I am faced with or going through.

I just want to say, "Thanks!!!"

Thank You LORD for answering my prayers.

For being my Rock.
My Stronghold.
And my Salvation!!!

For carrying me through. For opening the eyes and hearts of others.
For filling others with Your peace and joy.
For opening my own eyes, as they continually fail to see clearly.

For Your forgiveness. Love. And Grace.

I feel captivated by Your mercy.
It sets me free!!!
And fills me with peace and joy more than any drug ever could. :)

(I haven't taken any medication of any sort for over two years. I feel the best I ever have.)
I seriously feel like I am taking anxiety medication. I feel healthy!! Stronger than ever before. Eating enough and not too much. Not addicted to exercise or work! Not buried under my expectations! Not constantly worried about time! But most of all and most importantly, I am filled with Your faith, hope, and love.

Thank You LORD.
I trust You.

"Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the LORD, 'You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.' ... I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure."
-Psalm 16:1-2, 16:8-9

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