"I hate falling asleep in Biology. Sitting there, tapping my foot like mad, opening my eyes wide as they slide shut over and over. My body falls asleep first, then my head. I HATE it! I get so tired and cannot function. Today was a big, exhausting day. I conquered hopefully my hardest task of junior year: my Church and State debate. I did fumble, but many (Thomas F, Taylor B, Beatrice, Ashley R, and Andrea V) were seen by me smiling in the audience. I beat the biggest loud-mouth in our class.. I didn't care so much about winning, just getting it over! I was congratulated a lot though, by people not in my class! :) I'm SO STRESSED over the Civil War and cell cycle TESTS Friday. There are dance pictures and sisters' choir concerts galore this week. It's TERRIBLE! MAJORLY NEED SLEEP!"
"My brain aches. I'm worn down below the brim. I can't think straight, my hands are bloody and full of cracks that singe and sting, my lips are chapped, my back hurts in tension, my brain feels rushed, my legs are happy to finally be pedaling after sitting so long, my nose is stuffed, my head feels heavy, my body is in denial because it needs sleep SO BADLY. I'm confused about how much to eat at a time such as this. Trying to tell my dad how I feel was just about the most absurd act I committed all day. He holds not an ounce of understanding, and our arguments lead to him saying, "This is the least stressful time of your life. You girls get away with doing so little around the house it's not even funny!" Thanks A LOT DAD!! Hearing him makes me want to cry, scream, pull out my hair, and sink into depression. I hate the fact that this happens Wednesday after Wednesday, and Religious Ed. is the one thing I always feel like must be sacrificed. I see it as very unbeneficial, as we get nothing accomplished. I WISH I COULD GO SO BAD! Why am I the only person this stressed?! I need God's help!"
Looking back now, I can clearly see I was the anxious monster. My dad was loving and wise. I am sorry for any stress my anxiety and selfishness brought to my family. I am thankful that all these stupid lows always brought me to God and prayer. I am thankful for all the lessons I eventually learned. Sorry it always takes me so long to learn!!