Wednesday, May 12, 2010

personality counts, not appearance

May 12, 2010

"Tonight when a friend brought up how he loses a little bit of respect for people when he hears them referring to people as hott or good looking, I was quick to agree. I felt bad for speaking so quickly, but thinking about it more, I still stand extremely firm to my agreement with his statement!

I sincerely do not like to base feelings for the opposite sex upon looks. Examples of how I react to different situations will best illustrate how I feel...

Tonight while driving away from swing dancing I said, "And so many people who swing dance are Christians!!"
A friend said, "Ya, the guy I danced with went to this awesome Christian retreat."
I said: "I danced with a guy who is working at a Bible camp all summer!"

I immediately felt bad after saying that. I felt like we were putting guys on a "likable list" right after meeting them, and that is something I do not like at all! I hate the thought of liking someone before I really understand that their heart is completely for God. (Usually this takes me a very very long time to figure out!) Thinking about it more, I know we were just excited about the possibility of getting to know these guys better (as friends first.) I just felt bad about the conversation because we reminded me of people who are quick to like someone based upon appearance.

Recently a friend told me how a girl he danced with was beautiful. I was like "What?! What do you mean beautiful? To me beautiful has to do with someone's soul." I explained to him how I can't like someone unless I know they are crazy about God and, similarly, how much of a turn off it is to me when someone flirts with me without truly understanding what is in my heart.

When I am told I look nice I admit it really makes me feel really good, but it only makes me feel good if it is from friends or people who respect me for who I am inside more than who I am outside. I ironically struggle like crazy with low self-esteem and low body image, so hearing people say I look nice amazes me. Even so, I would SO MUCH rather hear that I am a loving person, good friend, or a dedicated follower of Christ.

I really enjoy Taylor Swift songs like "Stay Beautiful" or "I'd Lie." But when those songs refer to beautiful I think of someone with an extremely beautiful soul.

This year a friend told me I should see my appearance as beautiful because God created me. I do agree that God created EVERYONE beautifully and that I should recognize that in myself. I already easily recognize it in everyone else!

If friends talk about liking someone because they are good looking, I will still respect them, but I will look at these feelings as a flaw. I don't look down on anyone for having flaws because I know I have just as many flaws if not more than they do.

I firmly believe it is not right to like a boy or girl based upon appearance. I do not think it is good to talk about people as being "hott" or based upon appearance. I don't have celebrity crushes. I think people should be known by their heart for God and not their appearance."

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