I don't know much. I'm not usually right, please know that. For some reason these thoughts, things, and ideas have been on my mind and heart throughout the years. I am silly, sinful, and make many mistakes every day. God's grace and love for me is my only Hope. His grace gives me strength to forgive myself each day, start over again, and fills me with the desire to show others how much He loves, forgives, and delights in each and every one of us. His children.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
who I am hates who I've been
I am still feeling really sad and angry at myself for how I messed up last night. I keep playing "Who I am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K over and over. I did learn from my mistakes, and I am going to try with all my mite not to mess up or stress like that around my family again. I know I can do it with God's help. I am glad I haven't messed up like that for a VERY long time, and I know I will make sure not to do it again.
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
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