open rebuke

Some things that should be heart and life-shattering are happening/have happened to me in the last few weeks and days. But thanks be to God, I don't feel shattered. I feel shocked, bewildered... I know that the things are truly sad and unfair. But mostly I just feel like "Wow. God is clearly doing things." It's exciting to get answers from God, even if they aren't the way I would have ever wanted and still don't want them the way they turned out... but I feel a huge sense of "Wow. God must have big reasons for all of this." It is exciting to go through each day, knowing God is doing a lot in my life right now. A LOT of change. Exciting, crazy, ... and leaving me bewildered but stoked to see what happens.

How is there so much hope through all of this? Peace fills me, even though nightmares have happened.

Craziness.

But crazy goodness of God.
I know He knows what He's doing!


..
And He keeps giving me really good scripture to chew on and apply during all of this.

Here's an example from tonight, but there's been a lot more that I don't feel I need to share but just need to apply and think about myself.

 

 

 

"Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
 Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

-Proverbs 27:5-6

 

 

... Something to think about tonight, amongst many other things...

 

 

Thanks God for all this craziness.

It weirdly excites me.





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"In Genesis, we read about Joseph, whose brothers sold him to a passing caravan. He became a slave and was carried off to Egypt, thinking he would never see his family again. I don’t think that was where he wanted to go. But, many years later, when he was finally reunited with his brothers, Joseph said, 'It was not you who sent me here, but God' (Genesis 45:8) and 'Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good' (Genesis 50:20)."


- http://clarkcowden.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/when-god-leads-us-where-we-do-not-want-to-go/

mission work

God is placing serving as a missionary on my heart.


My dreams are

• to help unreached nations learn about Jesus
• to share God's love with children and those living in Africa at some point
• to serve God internationally
• to grow and learn to serve Him more fearlessly, there and here

• to learn from and gain friendships with Christians and missionaries serving worldwide
•  to learn from every new experience and person I meet
• to help others grow and learn to serve Him
• to share everything I learn, see, and experience with my friends and family 
• to surrender to God's lead

-------

I don't feel like this point in my life would be a good time to leave long-term or for a two year period of time. I have grandparents, family, kids, and friends who are too precious and who need me here. I am so attached to the kids at Hope and their families!!! I also want to be with my sisters, grandparents, family, friends, and everyone. For this reason, I have been encouraged by Christians from various organizations to start serving with "Youth With a Mission" or YWAM. Working with them people can serve whenever and for however long works best for them.

Tonight I am looking at one of YWAM's many ministries called Frontier Missions that is focused on reaching unreached people groups!

YWAM works in more than 1,100 locations in over 180 countries, with a staff of over 18,000. There are so many opportunities. I feel drawn to Africa at some point, but also everywhere. There is so much to learn, so many ways to grow, and endless ways to serve.

I am excited to see what God has in store.



"Sing to the Lord, all the earth;
    proclaim His salvation day after day.
Declare His glory among the nations,
    His marvelous deeds among all peoples."
- 1 Chronicles 16:23-24



The journey and the support raising begins... 

I'm at an interesting point in my life. Crazy to think of where I was last year to where I am now.

I want change. I'm ready for change. But yet I'd be scared for the change to happen before a year from now.


I'm anxious to see what God wants from my life.


All I know is that right now I need Him. I need His help to make what I do and think more about Him and less about me and my comfort.

I'm excited for the work He's going to do in me in this next year. For what I'm going to learn. For the time with friends, family, and kids. Ultimately for the time I need with Him to grow in love for Him and for people. For more growing up. ...



A year seems so far away, and these current days are challenging. Thank God for being here with me this winter.

He knows what He's got in store and why I'm here.

quotes of the day

 
 
R: "Guess what?!!"
H: "...Chicken butt??!"
 
A: "Heyyy, you know that's not a good thing to say. Please don't say that."
 
R: "Hey, Abby! Guess what??!"
A: "Whaat??!"
R: "Chicken face!!!.."
 
 
 
...
 
 
"Mmmm.... My place smells like burnt popcorn and strawberry creamsicle!!"
 
 
 
^^Me entering my place at 11:20 tonight after letting my car run in the -45 degree wind-chill.
 I have been using a really good smelling raspberry air freshener, but today I bought a strawberries n cream one. :)
 
 
...
 
 
 
 
R: "Hey, Abby!! Guess what??!!"
A: "Whaat??!"
R: "Chicken mouth!!"
 
R: "Hey, Abby!! Guess what??!"
A: "What??!!"
R: "Chicken ear!!"
 
R: "Hey, Abby!!! Guess what??!"
A: "What??!"
R: "Chicken popcorn!!.."

when I go to bed

I have a new dream that's on my mind constantly lately. Something I wasn't completely expecting. I was telling some friends how I'm excited to go on mission trips in my life. That I go to bed dreaming about doing mission trips and how I want to go to Africa.


Someone said some things that I feel like maybe God placed her there to say to me. Number one, "If you're dreaming about it every night, you should do it!!"
Which my reply was, "Don't worry, I for sure will!!" Because my plan is to go on a mission trip next year and to Africa as soon as possible!

She also said to check out Unseen Ministries. I called them today. And I called some other places.



I have a new dream: to do mission work with kids.


From January to May, I would really love to be around the world doing mission work overseas with kids.
From June to December, I would love to be here. Loving on kids in other jobs (like Hope, babysitting, and who knows what... plus there are tons of other jobs out there that would be awesome...God only knows what He has coming for me).  And I would love to be with my family from June to December. To help with the garden, to enjoy time with them and friends and the kids who are here, to be here for Christmas and summer. I love our very hot weather in the summer!!! I really would like to be elsewhere in the winter. I am sick of the mundane every day life. And I don't like the weather. Also from June to November is when I am busiest with photos...

So, these are just some of my dreams/thoughts. I'm guessing God has given some of them to me. But I know no matter what: He only knows what's in store, what will go down, and what will be best. I can't wait to see.

It could really be anything. It could be the complete opposite of this. ... Only God knows. :)

Christmas

December

December wasn't like October and November in the sense of how I was treated. December was a month of good moods! May through December though was good. I'm thankful for the times I'm treated as less, even if it's hard for me because I don't like letting people down and it seems that that's why I'm treated like that. I feel in those times though that all I can do is use God's strength to keep being me! I know God can use me best that way.

I love my job.
I love making stuff for people.
I love the challenge of every day.

I love kids!!!
And I love my family.
I'm thankful for the kids, family, and friends God has placed in my life.


I enjoy trusting God and living with Him always there.


I'm going to start posting stuff in this blog that makes me smile. So many things do... I need a place to share them.