lately.

I feel so good. All the time.  It's crazy and kind of scares me.

God has brought me out of so many things. Health-wise I feel better than I ever have in my life every single day, and I know it's only thanks to God.

Most of all, I just feel so wrapped, wrapped in God's love for me.

It makes me smile.

He just loves me. Always. No matter what. Never-failing or ending... exactly as I am. And His love for me is deeper than I can ever come close to imagining.

It all just feels crazy.

Being single with Jesus is also so so good that I find myself constantly thinking I really don't ever want anything else than this. If God does I do! But otherwise, man oh man do I love everything about all the time I spend with just Jesus each day when I'm single. It feels amazing to finally not want or wish for anything else than exactly what I have right now with Him. No matter what God has instore for my future, I am going to cherish every moment of this season. I hope to make the most of it and enjoy loving on whoever I get to spend time with each day. :)

I know that everything good comes from God.

So all I can do is thank Him for what He's doing in my heart and life.

I feel so amazed by His love.

"Where shall I go from Your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there Your hand shall lead me,
and Your right hand shall hold me."
-Psalm 139:7-10

this summer.

God did. And is, every day. 

What would I do without that?

Without God's help letting go?

Without the ability to always rest in the fact that God's in control?

Every day of my life, no matter what the season's been, I would've been hopeless every single day without the ability to trust that God's in control. To know He's here. To know He loves me. To know everything will be alright.

Instead, thanks to Him, I have peace.

Incredible peace.

Oh how I can never thank Him...

I can never thank Him... !!!

... 

Thanks God. 

forgetting what the world has told me...

missing grandma.

Grandma Who

Grandma who loves us
and knows how to play
who is a warm slice of apple pie, saved just for me
who is beautiful songs about Jesus and Heaven sung at her request
 is stories of past parties and her schoolhouse days
who is a bag full of goodies, packed for the road
 is a peppermint patty
a warm hand to hold
who plays the "kitty game" with me
saving me from crocodiles with a pillow and a soft "meow"
who is a bright smiling face tenderly scrolled in blank ink
 is not just one but three ooey-gooey caramel roles
that leave my stomach full of warmth
who is a newsletter sent in the mail to keep us in touch
is a little black and white bear called "Whoo Whoo"
a symbol of shared love
who is a sly little smile behind sparkling, laughter filled eyes
is an exclamation of "Yahtzee!" after one roll of the die
who is Mass watched with grandpa every day
is a miniature fork and knife, cute as can be
who is the electronic BINGO game we ask for the most
is a pair of fuzzy red socks covering wiggly toes
who is a slivery bit of cherry jello with bursts of marshmallows on my tongue
is a gingerbread man drawn with buttons and bows
who says she can't believe we are getting so tall
is a peanut butter and banana sandwich or a bowl of lemon creme pie pudding
who is the picture of smiling Jesus that she loves on her wall
who is a competitive game of Scrabble, which she usually wins
is a bowl of chicken noodle soup after a long day's drive
 who is a tiny frame but an enormous heart
is a ripped open envelope filled with a kind birthday note
who loves us
loves grandpa
and loves Jesus with all her heart
who is dear and precious
who forever holds a place in my heart 

 

 

what I did for love.

Relating to how I feel about everything currently going on in my life, everything that I've done and will do and just to my heart...

this song is one of them that speaks it.

After going to my sister's musical "A Chorus Line" on Thursday night, I sung the song in my head all day Friday. Couldn't get it out even when trying. I just couldn't get over how much it relates to how I feel about what I've done, am doing, and will do for God and for the people I love. Also for the things I feel God calling me to do, the things He's made me passionate about. ... Love. Really that's the only way I can describe it.

What I did for love.

Tonight when I went to the show for the second time, I could not hold myself back from crying. No one noticed, but a large amount of warm tears streamed down my face and my body shook. I felt like I was radiating heat of me, my face was so hot from the intense emotions of how deeply this relates perfectly to how I feel about what I am currently going through. It also relates to how I feel about life in general. How I feel about each day/about the end of each day. How I feel about the things I've done and do and why I've done them.

I want to and know I will feel this way forever.

This song really relates to how I feel about everything I do for those I love. For the family I love. The friends I love. The kids I love. The God I love...  For the unique things I feel Him calling me to do/ I feel I may have been made to do.

It inspires me. Reminds me what truly matters.

  

"Now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

                 -1 Corinthians 13:13

what He says...

 Isaiah 43

1 "But now, this is what the Lord says—
    He who created you, Jacob,
    He who formed you, Israel:
'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in your stead.
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
    and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life.
5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
    I will bring your children from the east
    and gather you from the west.
6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
    and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
7 everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,    whom I formed and made.

 Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,
    who have ears but are deaf.
⁹ All the nations gather together
    and the peoples assemble.
Which of their gods foretold this
    and proclaimed to us the former things?
Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,
    so that others may hear and say, “It is true.”
¹⁰ 'You are my witnesses' declares the Lord,
    'and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
    and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
    nor will there be one after me.
¹¹ I, even I, am the Lord,
    and apart from me there is no Savior.
¹² I have revealed and saved and proclaimed—
    I, and not some foreign god among you.
You are my witnesses,^' declares the Lord, 'that I am God.
¹³     Yes, and from ancient days I am he.
No one can deliver out of my hand.
    When I act, who can reverse it?'”

exactly how I've been feeling lately...

Every day I am struggling, questioning, talking to, talking to and praying to God... asking Him for help. Telling Him I desperately need to hear from Him, knowing that I am so filled with lies and just so confused/far from the Truth. So in need of Him...

And well, basically what He's been doing, showing, and saying to me every day has been making me feel exactly like every lyric of this song:

I love the way You love like no other
It's got nothing to do with anything that I do
Time and time again You forgive me
So this time I choose to stay here with You

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
Here in the arms of my Father
Only grace can be found
So I lay my fears down
Nothing is the same anymore
You've changed me from the inside out
Now my heart is beating and it's singing, won't You...
Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You

I can't get over You

I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord
I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord

Even through the good and the bad times,
You stay the same
So my song will remain
Lord...

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
There's nothing I can't do
I just can't get over You
I can't get over You.